Friday, November 13, 2009

Who Am I?

A little while ago, we found out that we are going to be having a third baby! It's exciting and scary all at the same time. We had decided that our 2 little boys were enough to complete our family. We felt very blessed and happy with what God had given us for kids. Tanner and Carter are terrific! However, a routine trip to the doctor's office proved that we were very wrong. I've got to say, I cried, I was not happy, I was scared, embarrassed, angry, and had other very selfish emotions. My doctor was very excited. She also has 2 little boys. She tried to reassure me that everything was going to be fine, labor is a piece of cake, it's fun, she'll be there for the birth, etc. That didn't really help, but it just made me like her even more which I didn't think was possible because she's so fun anyway! I checked out and made my next appointment, which by now was going to be my second first prenatal appointment because we had already determined there was a heartbeat. I called Tyler from the parking lot crying to tell him the news that I am sure he did not expect. He was taken aback by my news but then he was excited. I was confused. What? Why are you excited? Don't you want to wallow in self pity with me? Nope, he didn't, he was excited. It was hilarious, well it was annoying at the time, but it is funny now. He wanted to tell our families immediately, while I felt that I needed the weekend to at least process all this information. He won that battle and called his family. I waited a few days before I could tell my family. Sorry guys!
I am nearing the end of my first trimester and hoping that these sick feelings will soon subside. Especially with the holiday season coming up-I've got to be able to eat and enjoy myself! When I don't feel miserable, I am excited for this new member of our family!

I had my second first doctor's appointment yesterday and actually remembered, granted it was at the very last second, that I did need a copy of the ultrasound picture! Now, of course, if you aren't a mom, this picture will mean absolutely nothing to you. No one but moms seem to enjoy looking at these pictures so just bear with me! I will have 3 more ultrasounds during this pregnancy and the pictures will get better and better.

As of right now, we have decided that we do not want to find out if the baby is a girl or a boy until the birth. Pretty crazy, right? I am hoping that Tyler will be able to endure my moodiness when I want to "nest" and won't be able to because I don't know if we will be having a boy or a girl! I'm not really one who likes to do anything neutrally so I will wait to decorate the nursery until after the baby is born. It's going to be hard!

I was thinking the other night that I used to be a lot more fun than I am right now. Who am I now? I miss me! I am very tired right now, I am very nauseous right now, I am a little cranky right now too. I am nervous for this summer, I don't really know how I will handle having 3 kids. Little things like going to the grocery store seem like a daunting task with 3 kids.  I am so lucky that my sister doesn't work in the summertime and I can force her to help me! Hopefully I won't have to hold her hostage but I will if I have to because I will have all those fun after birth hormones running through my body! She can also help me get back to my fun self! Thanks Cam!

So that is my news. It's crazy. It's scary. It's fun.

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