Memories

I have been cleaning and organizing and just trying to de-clutter our house these past few days. I am not very impressed with myself as I have been doing this. I have found some of the weirdest items that I have no idea why they were ever considered "save worthy". Today, I have almost felt like I might be able to be on the show hoarders. It was borderline scary, let me tell you! However, I did come across a little clear plastic bag in the bathroom that had a pregnancy test in it that I had dated. I almost took a picture, but then I thought again! It brought tears to my eyes. The date on the bag was October 29, 2005. That was the date I found out I was pregnant with Tanner.

It's crazy to think that was 5 years ago. So much has happened since then and so much had to happen to lead up to that point.

In May of 2004 I got pregnant for the first time after more than a year of trying. I remember I made Tyler drive over to friends and families homes to tell them the good news in person. That pregnancy ended up being ectopic which lead to surgery because my fallopian tube had burst. I will never forget being on vacation in Dworshak with Tyler's family and feeling like we were on cloud nine. So excited to be parents, so excited for this little baby, but also having so much pain and not really knowing why. I asked myself over and over again, is it normal to hurt this much? Am I going to hurt like this for 9 months? The answers to those questions were both no.

We left Dworshak early because Tyler and I both knew something was not right. I was so scared. My doctor tried a few medications to help my body naturally heal itself because I was so scared of having surgery. Those treatments did not work and surgery was the only option after the tube had burst.

The next year after that was filled with hope, a couple miscarriages, and then on October 29, a pregnancy that stuck! Tanner was born on July 1, 2006 and became the first of the 3 biggest blessing to Tyler and I.

Carter came a few weeks less than 2 years later from Tanner, he was a surprise. Although, we shouldn't have been too surprised because we were not doing anything to prevent pregnancies. We just figured it couldn't happen easily or soon since it didn't before. We were wrong. Hadley came a few weeks less than 2 years later from Carter, also a surprise! Are you starting to notice a pattern here? The crazy thing about Hadley is that we were done and I was on birth control. God is in control of our lives, not us. Hopefully we have really closed the door on having kids. I pray that we have. I am ready for the next stage in our lives!

They are such neat kids and we love them so much. I couldn't imagine my life without them. Some days I feel like they are way too close together in age, and other days (when I am crazy) I wish they were closer!